At the clinic we look at anger a bit differently. We do not see anger or rage as a ‘bad feeling state’. And lets get this clear from the start: we do not see you as a ‘bad parent’ for experiencing overwhelming emotions regardless of what your inner critic tells you.

Typically what we find is that this anger parents feel, often tends to be a plea from those part of yourself that has been neglected and pushed down in exchange for the needs of others to be met. Sometimes it’s that part that cannot stand another 45 minute battle over the clothes to be worn that day. Other times its from the part that cannot take another red light on the car ride home with a screaming baby in the backseat. More often than not its from the parts who are caving under the weight of the mental load, and ends up raging when you hear a loud sigh from the otherside of the bed during night duty, that you have 5/7 nights.

The problem with anger and rage is that it can cause us to go into a state of shame, making us want to hide, and the urge towards isolating can cause us feel extremely lonely. Our self-talk becomes very negative and harsh and sometimes it can evolve into self-loathing, creating an extremely painful cycle of suffering where you never, or rarely, get a break. This causes your alarm system to be on duty all the time and that important pause in between is never experienced.

In psychology lingo it basically means that your parasympathetic nervous system (the one where you experience a sense of groundedness, soothing and calmness) needs to come online a bit more often, and that your sympathetic nervous system (the one causing that fight/flight/freeze reaction), is too easily activated.

At the clinic we work with this every day. We know therapy to be an extremely effective tool for your soothing system to grow and the systems to become more balanced. But we can’t change you, you have to change you – and when you’re ready we would love to support and guide you along the way, showing you the most effective methods known, all firmly rooted in the science of the human mind.

Get in touch today to learn more about how therapy might help.